Kesian...ooo...kesian...

It's been 2 weeks I have hard times sending my son to his baby care house. A few weeks back I spent a lot of time with him, looked after him when he got fever, flu, chicken pox (I've risked my job & took EL for my little boy-lots to answer to admin/HR & my boss, it's not easy U know!). Then a week after, I fell sick-also caused by fever, flu & cough. The doctor gave me 2 days rest due to medication which she couldn't give me because I'm pregnant. So, she thought that I need more time to rest. Everytime when I'm not working, my little boy will stay with me at home, no matter what condition I'm in. I don't have heart to leave my little boy at baby care house when I feel that I'm capable of look after him on my own (even if I really don't).

When the time to send Iman to his baby care house came, he refused to stay there. He only want to stay with me like a few weeks before. When I passed him to his baby sitter, then he hold me tight like didn't want to let me go & started to cry. I felt pitty for my little boy & also felt guilty to let him stay with other person he didn't want to stay with. He make me wonder what make he hate his baby care house so much, not like before? did something terrible had happened to him there which I don't know? or did other children do something bad to him? but then I realise that my little boy is now growing up, his emotion started to progress as he now learn more to feel happy, sad, know which things that he like & he doesn't & how to express his feeling towards everything surround him. It just another level of growing-up progression. Well, as I feel sad about my little boy after seeing him cry (it breaks my heart into pieces), I still need to run my life as usual. Our life requires me to work, so I have to leave my son +-10 hours a day for 5 days a week (for the job that I hate) even I don't want to-so much!...Ikutkn hati, aku nk berenti, nk jge ank 24 jam sehari...can't stand watching him cry every morning! but what other option do I have?

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